PDF Conquered by Clippy: An Erotic Short Story

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Guest blog by Matthew Charlton; friend, programmer, writer, and lover of stationery-based erotica. Find him on Twitter. Have you ever come.
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The Roadhouse - Erotic short story by Liv Wilde

Developers constantly update and improve. Easy and intuitive to use. New features frequently added. Just what you need. Not what you don't. Programmer gives this app a lot of love and attention and it shows. Oh we are bloggers! Maybe a tech giant will one day ask us to investigate alien artifacts! I did not know this could get more exciting!

Conquered by Clippy: An Erotic Short Story

This has just gotten really weird. Wanna guess what it was? If silicon geysers were a thing, would everyone in silicon valley need to go around using self-contained breathing units at all times to avoid destroying their lungs? Oh, my lord above. I can suspend my disbelief for sex with inanimate objs, but Windows Phone 8. I think this author would have done better eschewing some of this nonsensical setup and just getting on with the sex.

What is Clippy exploring? What the heck kind of story is this?


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I mean, Phil seems a reasonable choice. Okay, things are, if possible, getting weirder. Christie has now decided to find a hole in the ground that seems to be leading to… an office complex? Like fetch but more successful. Which, I kid you not, seems to have killed him. It was red and glowing at the end, as if his rod had been stuck in a fire.


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Clippy had a boner. Clearly the wish-fulfillment fantasy here is not getting it on with Clippy but killing Bill Gates. How meta would that be — erotica about Clippy written by a machine. Christie is all about being grateful to the homicidal alien paperclip and is now giving him a blow job. As she lapped and suck and tongued at it, it became even redder and hotter. Her own human body part vagina felt hot too. Christ WHAT. Assist me! Assist me HARD! Because in this world, computer chips are mined out of the ground. Breasts, however: engineered. Can I assist you using butt stuff?


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My readers will really get into that. Hey — I will say at least Leonard has made an attempt at using the non-human elements in the sex act. I will not get over the Unicorn horn not being used in that Biker Unicorn erotica. I mean, if a machine can knock you up….

He was so deep that it sounded like shl-shl-shl-schloop! And it turns out this was some kind of set up to get the word out about how awesome Microsoft… er whatever the fake name is. She has been duped and will tell the world. Oh dear, Clippy has let out an evil laugh and manages to get to the internet to cause more mischief. Wait wait wait. The purpose of this whole interaction was to convince people to like the Microsoft Office Assistant? So back in the day I remember a lot of discussion of Clippy and how the Microsoft staff including Bill were convinced that everyone would love him, and they were shocked at how people hated him.

She is a truthful blogger. I hated Clippy from the moment his sneering face and obnoxious eyebrows popped up on my screen.

Episode 71 - Conquered By Clippy Fan Fiction Playhouse podcast

Nothing was going to change that. Recommended Posts. Report post. Posted March 16, Share this post Link to post Share on other sites.

Posted March 22, Oh, there are some rolling in now. Pretty funny actually.

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Posted April 9, The first page was legal mumbo jumbo. It was like the instructions on a box of condoms or the stuff you sign before buying a house: ignored. But I digress. I felt a pang of jealousy, but then scrolled to the next, and final, sample page.